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Several years ago, Brad and I began the adoption process to adopt a pair of siblings that were in state custody for abuse and neglect. During the process I encountered another miscarriage. Due to the miscarriage, the state considered the miscarriage to be a "death in the family" and it caused the adoption process to be halted for a year.
That was very devestating to us and the children. We already had photos of the girls we were in the process of adopting on the fridge. Kenya and Sabra were going to be part of our forever family...but the adoption process desintegrated in the midst of the miscarriage. After the year was up, and we were eligible to start the process again, Sabra and Kenya were already adopted out and we decided that it was just too traumatic of an experience to go through again.
As I look back on that time, almost 4 years ago, I see how sometimes that God answers our prayers in ways that were not expected. We prayed to be adoptive parents. Yet today, as I look around my house, I see children all over the place! Only 3 belong to us, but the rest of the kids have adopted US as a family! Yes, they have their own family and their own parents, but due to schedules and what not, these kids are mostly left alone...so I find many a neighborhood kid calling me "mom".
Just today I went to pick Laura up from school early due to the weather. When I arrived in the office one of the neighborhood kids was sitting in there and asked me to take him home. I told him to get his mom's permission and I would be glad to take him home. The school was unable to reach her. He had been in the office since noon and it was almost 3:30 by this point. The child had been suspended and no one could contact a parent. Reluctantly the secretary just told me to sign him out and take him home since they could not reach a parent and it was close to the end of the school day. I felt sort of sad for the kid!
I picked up both he and his brother and took them home. He asked me to wait to make sure he could get in the house as he had forgotten the key. He went in and his parents were asleep. They work night shift. Aparantly they had slept through the phone calls from the school. So he asked if they could come to our house. I brought them home and one of my kids announced that it was one of the brothers birthday! So we all gathered around and sang Happy Birthday to the younger one. I asked Brad to give the older brother a "father" conversation about his being suspended from school and see what was going on with him personally.
Just last week these same boys were over at the house while we were decorating the Christmas tree. It seems as though they have just assimilated right into our family! They are over almost every day after school and most nights we have to run them off to go home and eat dinner or make them leave by 8 or 9 PM...because if we did not make them leave, I'm not sure they would! We've never even gotten a phone call from their parents looking for them. So we figured if they have adopted us as a second family, we may as well exert some family influence over them!Several months ago we began inviting the boys to the youth group's 5th quarter parties once a month at our church. They also began going with us on Wed. nights. A few weeks ago the younger brother gave his life to the Lord at youth group. Since then he has been calling on Sunday mornings to see if he can get a ride to church for Sunday as well. He gets himself up and ready and walks to our home for a ride to church. In one sense it really breaks my heart that his parents are not involved more in this part of his life, but I see this is an opportunity to pull his parents in!! His parents obviously trust us, so this will be a way we can reach his parents through the children!
My daughter has also befriended a girl who is in desperate need of a "family" as well. Katie has also sort of just melded into the woodwork of the Irons family home. Recently we had Laura's 13th birthday party where had a "makeover" party. After it was all over, the adults that were still there all wanted to pray over Laura. So we put Laura in a chair and we all gathered around her. We layed our hands on her and prayed prayers of blessing over her. It was not long before Katie ran out of the room and locked herself in the bathroom. It took almost 45 minutes to coax Katie out of the bathroom. When she emerged she had a tear streaked face and was nearly hyperventilating. I gave the girls time to talk with her and when things seemed to have calmed down some I popped in and asked if they would all like to go for a cappacino. I asked Katie if everything was okay and her eyes started to well up with tears again...all she could manage to say is, "I have never seen anyone loved like that."So as I look at the landscape of my home these days, my family is still just 3 biological children...but the prayers for adoption have been answered in a way I never dreamed was possible. These extra kids that adorn our home seem to have adopted us. On any given day when I pick my oldest son up at school I am also picking up 4 other kids who seem to also live at our house on a regular basis! Our family is much larger than biology can claim! I find I genuinely love these kids. They have real issues in their lives and more than anything they just want a family that will be involved...and they seem to have chosen us...and for that I am grateful for the role we can play in their life today...and hopefully ETERNALLY!
Dawn
