Be Careful What You Pray For

...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the
fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that
I may attain to the resurrection of the dead.

Not that I have already attained it or have already become perfect, but I
press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of
by Christ Jesus.

Bretheren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one
thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ
Jesus. ~Philippians 3:10-14

I found myself sitting in my husbands office tonight after doing a task on his computer. I looked over and noticed a chalk drawing on his wall that I had drawn sometime this last year during a worship and prayer gathering at our church. The memories of that time of intense prayer came rushing back. I can remember everything about that evening: the worship, the music, the prayers, the people...and the message God put on my heart that I quickly put to paper canvas as best as I could.

On this drawing there are the 3 crosses on calvary. The flow of blood from Christ's cross flows through time to the altar where I drew a crude rendition of myself being placed upon the altar and a flame surrounding me. On the altar is written the verse Romans 12:1-2..."I urge you therefore, bretheren, by the mercies of God to offer yourself as living sacrifices, which is holy and acceptable to God. This is your reasonable form of service. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what God's will is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect." There on the altar is a person, with hands lifted in worship, and a song flowing from their heart...completely consumed in the fire of the Lord...a living sacrifice. On one side of the drawing it reads, "Create in me a clean heart, Oh Lord, my God, and renew a right spirit within me." On the other side, by the crosses at calvary, it reads, "Oh that I may know Him in the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings."

As I looked upon the drawing I had to fight back a smile of recognition...could it be?? Could all the trials and tribulations of late be an answer to a prayer I prayed long ago? Did I really dare to pray that I would truly know Christ better by the power of His resurrection and the FELLOWSHIP OF HIS SUFFERINGS? Yes...I did.

Now, this is not to say that God causes all the bad stuff to happen, but there is a tried and true promise that God will cause all things to work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purposes. If there is anything that allows a Christian to experience the resurrection power of Christ, it is to see Jesus actively intervene in the midst of our daily circumstances. True believers KNOW an encounter with the resurrected Christ!

This whole year has been an encounter with the resurrected Christ for our family. This year has brought about the most EXTREME changes in our life in 14 years of marriage. Had we not known these changes were being directed by Jesus Himself it could have been a very ugly family dispute! But the peace of God reigns because an encounter withthe resurrected Christ is UNmistakable!

I remember in that time of intimate prayer earlier this year that I called out to God to know Him more intimately--to know Him in the fellowship of His sufferings. I asked God to break my heart over issues that break His heart. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief! I guess I did not realize that God would really do it!

This has been an interesting year of entering into the grief of friends who were grieving alone. I told God a long time ago that if there was ever a purpose in the grief I have endured personally that He allow me in time to be able to comfort those who grieve, just as He himself comforted me. We have recently had friends struggle in their marriages, lose children to death, we watched a friends church get torn in two when the pastor milked the church finances dry then left the congregation in devestation and debt as he abandoned the church and took several staff members with him. We have had missionary friends face some situations that they have called just to talk to us and have us pray with them....we entered into their sufferings. There were times that we really had to step back and just wonder over all the painful situations...it is not as though they sprang up overnight--they have always been there, but somehow I have been keenly more in tuned with things and situations that are heartbreaking for me. Could it really be that God has answered that prayer to break my heart with the things that break His heart?

I do not regret praying that prayer. But I have to giggle when I think of the old addage...be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!

There is one thing I can tell you for certain...there is nothing like feeling the pain of God's broken heart over a matter that drives you back to His arms faster than anything! In retrospect, looking back over these various situations personally, and with friends, I can see that there has been an intimacy built with God. There is a place of complete dependency on HIS intervention in these matters because there is very little we can do in the natural but pray for and listen to our friends...just be there for them...often.

There is a time for everything under heaven:
a time to laugh and a time to cry
a time to rejoice and a time to mourn
a time to live and a time to die
a time for war and a time for peace

a time for joy in the Lord...and a time to enter into the fellowship of His sufferings....

Seeing all the wonders that previous prayer has wrought, I think I will be praying next to have a season of boundless love and unending JOY in the Lord!!!

I like being able to step back and look at the big picture from time to time...in the midst of all the recent trials and tribulations God has opened my eyes and allowed me to see the enemy and know how to battle in those situations...and He has also drawn me near to His heart through the fellowship of His sufferings and He has broken my heart with the things that break His heart. The big picture is beautiful...I know I am not alone. I know He has intimately touched my heart with His heart. And as emotionally painful as it can be sometimes, the intimacy with God is immeasurable and I wouldn't trade this experience with my Father for anything in the world.

Now I am praying for His fullness of JOY!!

Dawn