Divorce Court

The Things People Take for Granted

This has been a tough week physically. I was not even able to make it through the complete church service last week. My bones ache and my muscles feel like they are burning from the inside out. There is a creepy crawly feeling like their are ants crawling just under the surface of my skin and I find myself swatting at myself thinking there is something crawling on me. The doctor prescribed pain killers thinking this is just some kind of strange nerve pain. But over all, nothing seems to be working. I was feeling particularly bad one day so I went to go take a nap. By the time I laid down I realized someone had left the TV on in my bedroom and it was on Divorce Court. It would've taken too much energy and pain to get up and turn the TV off so I laid there and watched this farce of a couple lay out all of their dirty laundry before a judge about why they had irreconciliable differences.

The reason for the divorce? This woman was a self proclaimed DIVA and said that her husband stopped telling her how pretty she was after they got married. So she had an affair so some other man could tell her how pretty she was.

I would have rolled my eyes if wouldn't have hurt so bad. All this to say that as I watched the pettiness of this unfold I reminisced in my own mind back to my own wedding day and the vows that were spoken. Back to the days when we were young, naive, and newly in love. The days when we thought love would conquer anything. I remembered how sick I was on our wedding day. I was running a high fever and taking triple antibiotics for a bad case of bronchitis. I was hardly lucid due to the antihistimines and I vaguely remembering my dad teasing me saying that I had better know what I doing because once the preacher pronounced us man and wife that he was not going to take me back if later I said I was on medicaltion and didn't know what I was doing! It was a done deal as far as dad was concerned! Once married, NO RETURNS!

I remember a specific part in our wedding video during the vows when it came to "in sickness and in health" that both Brad and I could be visibly seen trying not to laugh...as my fever was high and my cheeks were flushed and felt on the verge of passing out.

I look back to that time of committing ourselves one to another before God, family and friends and I feel very grateful for the integrity of the man who has stood by my side in sickness and in health. Little did we know back then that we would see so much testing on that particular vow! But if I may...let me brag about the man of my dreams who has honored his word at that marriage altar.

In sickness and in health...there have been days in this illness where I was too sick to even shower because the water hitting my skin would feel like razors tearing at my flesh. Household chores have been delegated out to the kids and some days it was all I could do to put a frozen pizza in the oven.

Recently my mom has come to live with us and has been a blessing beyond belief in helping with the running of the house. My family now has clean clothes again!

There have been some days that I was quite grateful that my job is mostly computer based and can be done from home. I cant imagine where I would be if I had to get dressed and go to a traditional job on a daily basis. Hopefully this new home based business will start to show a profit too so I can help with the growing medical bills.

I know there have been days where I have looked like a frightening sight to behold as I hobble and limp just to get from one place to another in the house but each and every day Brad still comes home and sits on the side of our bed and still hugs and kisses me--and tells me how much he loves me.

I know it is not beauty that he is seeing. It is not even gratitude for the acts of service I do...because I can't do much of that any more either...it is simply that he loves me, and despite all the health issues, he still likes knowing that I am around.

I think about how petty the couple in the divorce court seemed. Then I realize how truly blessed I am to have a husband who can see past the the broken external physique and sing a song to me about having a "beautiful soul".

He's the best thing that has ever happened to me ...next to knowing Christ.
It is comforting to know that I have Brad by my side as we stand and believe for healing...
and not just Brad, but a praying church.

I look forward to standing completely healed on the other side of this trial of health! I look forward to the day that Brad and I will once again be able to hike and climb the hills at the lake as we did in college.

But until that day, I just love that he still comes home and searches me out for a hug and a kiss...and a song about a "beautiful soul".

He can sure make a sick gal feel a lot better!

I'll forever be a "gratefulwife2brad"...

Love, Dawn