Resurrection of a Dream

God is Never Late, He is Right on Time

For those of you who know me, and know me well, know that there is a part of my heart that will forever be linked to Nicaragua. I dont know when that happened. Maybe it was the last 8 years of missions conferences at our church. I always tell my friends that the Missions Conference at our church the the highlight of my year (ahem...next to Christmas and Easter, of course!).

This year, battling with the Lyme disease, there were days that my dream of seeing Nicaragua were slipping farther and farther away. I kept holding on to scriptures that would keep my dream alive...how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news! Many are called, but few are chose. The harvest is great, but the workers are few.

Whats a girl to do when she feels the conviction of God to do something that seems wholly impossible in the natural scheme of things? In those first months after the missions conference when I made the 1 year plan to get prepared to go, the conviction was STRONG. There was no way to discourage me. But somewhere on that journey, doubt crept in. Maybe it was the day my legs would not work correctly and I could not walk. Or maybe it was the day the skin on my arm blistered and burned on a 15 trip to the store with the sun coming in from the car window. I mean, the medication said to avoid PROLONGED sun exposure...who knew 15 minutes would be considered prolonged! How in the world would I survive a week in South America, in summertime, if I had such reactions to the sun? I can't pinpoint the actual moment I no longer believed I would actually make it to Nicaragua. But the past few days I had been thinking about Nicaragua again and there really was a doubt and disbelief. I honestly started thinking "Well if I can't go, maybe we should just send Christopher." Without realizing it, I had already accepted defeat and was making a plan B.

The last few days have been kind of tearful. I was telling Brad, I don't know what's wrong with me! I keep leaking tears! Something has been so tugging at my heart that it has kept my emotions raw for several days. At one point I was feeling like an emotional basket case and I told Brad we needed to go buy some pregnancy tests...maybe that would explain the tearfulness and tender heart! No pregnancy...just tears. I knew I was a mess when I was waiting in the car for Josh to get out of school and a radio commercial came on that was advertising the movie World Trade Center and by the end of the trailer I was leaking again and digging through my purse for a kleenex! A COMMERCIAL!! What is wrong with me!!??!!

Then on the way to church this morning I really felt the Lord tell me he wanted to touch my heart BEFORE I got to church. Just listening to the Worship on the radio, I started leaking again...by the time I arrived at church I was conviced that the worship team could have sung Mary Had a Little Lamb and I would have been reduced to a puddle of tears. For the life of me I could not figure out what all the emotional TURMOIL has been about!

After worship, Pastor asked the team who went to Nicaragua to come up and tell of their work their. I had no idea they would be sharing this morning. It was almost as if God just tapped me on the shoulder and said "Dont you dare let that dream die." No kidding, just the few days before I was working on "plan B" thinking maybe Chris should go. But more than ever the dream was rekindled.

When Pastor got up to preach, it was as if God sealed it with a kiss. The message this morning was about raising Lazarus from the dead. What a beautiful reminder of Jesus' ability to raise to life that which we have let die with our doubt and disbelief. Jesus still functions in a resurrection power!

Again, I cant tell you why I have such a passion for Nicaragua. When most people desire to travel to a foreign country it is to see the Eifle Tower, the beautiful cathedrals of europe...but not me...

THIS is where my heart is:This is not exactly the heart's desire of most people if given the opportunity to hop a plane and go somewhere.

On the way home from church, a song came over the radio...it seemed almost the perfect ending to a perfect day of resurrecting a dream...

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with eyes wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
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"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield