Walking With a Limp

Whether This is Good or Bad is a Matter of Perspective


This was a very frustrating week physically. The achilles tendon in both my feet have been severely affected by the Lyme Disease which often causes me to walk with a limp, or on a really bad day, not able to walk at all. This last Thursday I was really limping pretty bad and lost my footing. As I stumbled trying to keep myself from falling I was able to make my way and land on my bed...and as most people do when trying to break a fall they hold their hands out. That was a mistake!! I swear, it felt like I broke both wrists!! Since then I have had coordination problems in my hands with numbness and tingling in both hands...but whether this is good, or whether this is bad is really a matter of perspective!

God is so good at putting things in perspective for me. I have been doing a Bible Study with the ladies at my church. We are going through The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. One of the lessons this last week made me want to jump for joy...but I thought twice about jumping with the limping thing going on! I did manage a hearty AMEN and just about colored and underlined my study guide like a good pre-schooler! I don't know that there could have been a more timely message for me this week to keep me encouraged.

We had been studying about the severe deception and betrayal between the twin brothers Esau and Jacob, the stolen birthright, and his fleeing for his life. During his time away and re-establishing his life and reaping back some of what he sowed, Jacob had a life altering encounter with God...and it changed his life forever. As Jacob wrestled with the angel at Pinniel he said "I will not let you go until you bless me!!!" The angel touched his hip socket, dislocating his hip and Jacob walked the rest of his days with a noticible limp saying, I have seen God face-to-face and yet my life was spared."

Shortly after this experience we see Jacob returning to his home land and meeting his brother after all those years. You see the anxiety building in his heart. You see the old habits of self preservation rearing its head again. You see Jacob limping to meet his brother and you see Esau running to meet Jacob. You can hardly miss the irony of this picture. Jacob had the very promise of God that His presence would be with him. Jacob was God's chosen one, not Esau. Yet Jacob limps and Esau runs. At this point, Beth Moore said one of the most profound things I have heard in a long time:

"Beloved, sometimes God will wound His own child to make him walk
differently while the profane and ungodly seem to run with endless confidence
and vitality...for us wounding and hurt are only temporal, yet they carry great
eternal benefits: "For our light and momentary afflictions are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (2 Cor 4:17)"

Following that powerful statement she shared the following quote from the Talmud:

"God says to man: With thy very wounds I will heal thee."

Catching hold of this concept deep in my heart has been like catching flight on eagle's wings. I can either curse the darkness of this situation or choose to shine a light in the midst of this situation. I choose the later.

God's word is completely TRUE. I continue to pray for healing. But until that is manifest in my body I hold to the truth that all of this will work together for the Glory of God. So the least I can do is to participate with God and allow this trial to grow in me a moldable and pliable heart in the hands of God. He is trustworthy.

So in that sense, I don't mind walking with a physical limp if my Spirit is made stronger in Christ. If this disease serves only to drive me close into the arms of God...can that really be a bad thing??

Don't get me wrong, I am NOT embracing this disease as my friend!! But as long as I have to walk this road, I am clinging to the promise that He is with me. He will not leave nor forsake me...and even if I make my bed in sheol...HE IS THERE WITH ME. So as long as I have the assurance of His presence with me, I can faithfully walk (or limp) through anything this disease will throw at me. As Joseph once said, what the enemy has used to harm me, God has used for GOOD.

This is not the road I would have chosen for myself...but knowing God is with me each step of the way, only intrigues me all the more! I mean really....I am walking this road with the God who created this world in 7 days, raised Chrsit from the dead, and His creativity knows no end! Each step of this journey becomes more and more of an adventure with God...so what if I walk with a limp! The traveling companionship is out of this world!!

So...is it good or bad??? I guess it really is just a matter of perception!!


~Love, Dawn